28 January 2008

Free! Free to go...completely hippy, looks like...

There are many things I want to do, now that I'm on the other side of school days. Some of these things are sort of pipe dreams, and some are pretty mundane, but the ones that I really want to do well with are awfully granola.

Thing the first: I want to knit. Clothing. I want to knit pretty shirts and delightful baby sweaters and awesome socks, and I want to bestow them on people who will fall over from all the amazingness.

Thing the second: Have my own vegetable garden. This is my year, folks! Home-grown, delicious, decadent tomatoes, can you just imagine? Amber and I are in serious talks about this, and my mouth is watering just thinking about it. I'm fully aware of the amount of work a garden takes, and this just adds fuel to my desire.

Thing the third: I want to make bread from scratch. And be amazing at it. Not bread-maker bread - the real deal. Dough that needs kneading. Giving things time to rise. The smell, the wonderful smell of baking bread...I think it's sort of a lost art form, and I'd love to be able to do it.

And with that list, I realize that what I really want to do is never sleep, never go to work, and just play with my hands all day. Oh, and I want fresh produce...but who doesn't?

25 January 2008

Rambly Rambly

There's a casino burning in Vegas right now. It's pretty amazing to see. I don't think anyone has been hurt, but they had to evacuate the whole building.

I ordered little reading glasses yesterday. Staring at a computer screen all day makes my eyes hurt and I'd rather not go even more blind by 30...they are super cute, though. I might have to get another pair. I kind of like glasses...

I love this little laptop I'm playing with at work. It's so cute! It has a touchscreen! It has a handle! I just think it's adorable.

Lately I've been obsessed with televisionwithoutpity.com and the recaps of Project Runway. That guy makes me laugh out loud.

My dad is having radiation treatments right now. He said they're boring. At least each session is short. I love him a lot.

I'm really, really excited that this weekend is going to be warm. I used to love winters in Alaska, but winter in Oklahoma sucks and I'm soooo looking forward to a few warm days again.

I have an hour and 45 minutes left at work today. I'm very bored. The laptop is really cute...but I'm ready for the weekend.

I've been wanting to buy really girly things lately - lip gloss, a hair cut, nail polish...I go through these random phases of purchase-envy. It will pass.
I already bought some nail polish, though, before I realized what I was doing. My toenails look delicious.

I wish there was a good outlet of live music in OKC. Maybe there is, and I'm just not cool enough to know about it. I like going to see local bands/shows.

I miss performing.

16 January 2008


My parents are in town right now. We're building a deck. It will be awesome when we're all finished and can stand outside on not-ground.
Right now, though, I'm at work, wishing I could be home helping them frame up the top level and then start laying the top. Amber got composite decking, so once we're done, we're done - no staining! Just sweeping!
There's a cold front coming in this late afternoon, which may or may not slow down production. Mostly it will be sucky to work in the cold, but that's the gamble we took when we decided to get this done in January.
If you ever build a deck, please remember that the boards are HEAVY. Just be prepared. I'll try to pilfer some pics from my mom and Amber.

15 January 2008

Have you ever...

I think...I think something is happening that I tried to ignore. Something that I didn't want to see, so I pretended I didn't - which never works. I could still be wrong. I could be reading into it, reading incorrectly, seeing the ready excuse that I wished for in the situation I did not.

This time, the possibility of being right leaves me feeling sort of hollow, sort of resigned-to-the-inevitable, sort of sorry for myself by proxy, if that's something one can be. It has nothing to do with me, if I am right, except parenthetically, which isn't even enough for worry except that the after thought in this is...me. I'm not one to feel sorry for myself generally, proxy-wise or otherwise, so why this time?
I think it has to do with fooling myself into hoping, a little, that I was wrong about this and right about the other thing, which means really I was wrong about everything. I let myself play pretend. I let down my time-crafted defenses, just a little. I relaxed a breath; a heartbeat; a moment; and now I realize I let myself be caught off-guard by something I saw far-off and, instead of heeding the warning, pretended it wasn't there.

It was there, I think. It's here still. The whisper of a glance at a possibility of a hunch. All I can say is, I see it. And I'm not ignoring it.

And so the question becomes "what now?" It's not a bad thing. If I'm right, I can pull out my happy face, knowing that I should be happy - and I would be, partly. It's the other part, the other possibilities that bite the dust with this possibility becoming reality, that gives me pause and catches in my throat. There are other questions that I guess I didn't want answered just yet. There are even more questions this raises. I suppose this won't won't be laid down until I know for sure, but the musings hold me captive today.

09 January 2008


My parents are flying in today! Right at this moment, they are winging their way to Dallas from Seattle, where they will pick up their car and head up I-35 to OK. I'm so excited to see them. While they're here, we are building a deck, they are going to a George Straight concert, and my best friend is getting a big promotion so we're having a party for that. They leave next saturday, and I'm thrilled to death to see them.
Now I just have to get the house clean before they arrive on my doorstep around 6 tonight...and I'm working until 4. Should be a fast and furious couple of hours.

07 January 2008

Black and Blue

I have a rather remarkable bruise on my ankle right now. I discovered it in the shower this morning, when I thought I had...dirt? or something? on me, and tried to rinse it off. Bruises don't rinse off, generally.
This thing is about 4"X2", mostly green, with a couple of spots in it that are deep purple. There is also a hard-ish lump directly above the bruise that is a little tender, and the whole thing is swollen.
The best part? I have no idea what I did. No idea. No event over the last couple of days comes to mind when I think of what could possibly have caused this (large, swollen) bruise, and I'm pretty sure it's something that would be memorable, to leave such a mark.
And this is one story of my life, one that has been passed down from my mom to both my sister and me - we are a clan of women who bruise. Spectacularly. In general I think I'm a fast healer, from cuts and scrapes and such, but bruises just stay with me for weeks. I had a quarter-sized one on my upper thigh that was deep purple and hard two weeks ago, and is still visible as a shadow, a memory, of a bruise today. I've surmised that I must've hit the corner of the bathroom vanity - it lines up really well - but I have no recollection of doing this hard enough to bruise.

Anyone else (and by that I mean, any of the three people reading this) share this malady, or any other strange things on your body?

03 January 2008

3 Things I don't Like, that don't matter.

1.) Men in cardigans or turtlenecks. (Or both, I guess, but that sort of nasty is something that I can't even entertain in my mind without vomiting a little.) The bastard step sibling of these is, of course, the sweater vest. Sorry, fellas...it just looks wrong. Old Navy commercials are lying to you - men do not, under any circumstances, need a cardigan.

2.) White suits. They just scream "I'm trying really hard to get attention!" I've never seen one that looks effortless.

3.) Waking in the middle of the night to my cat messing with...something. I may cut off her paws.